THE PLACE OF FAMILY TRADITION

THE PLACE OF FAMILY TRADITION

by Norman Bales

There's a picture of my father on a shelf just behind my office chair. In the picture he's wearing a western hat cocked slightly to the right. Last week I wore a baseball cap while doing some yard work. I happened to glance at myself in the mirror and noticed that I was wearing my cap cocked slightly to the right. When I thought about it, I realized that family tradition determined the peculiar angle of my cap. As a matter of fact I imitate my father in many of the things I do. I'm far better educated than he was, but in my unguarded moments I make the same grammatical errors in my speech (I say "ain't," use double negatives and I often feel inclined to substitute "them" for "those" even though I know "them" is not a possessive pronoun). I sometimes mispronounce words the same way he did. A wheel barrow becomes a "wheel bar;" Ann "arns" my clothes and barbed wire becomes "bob war." I also tend to emulate many of his social patterns, much to the irritation of my wife. Family tradition is strong.

            Family tradition probably has more influence on the adoption of ethical standards among young people than any other one factor. Recent studies among adolescents indicate they often adopt the lifestyles and behavior patterns of their parents. (See The Gospel According to Generation X by Dodd, Lewis and Tippens). If a child's parents say one thing and do another, their offspring will generally pick up on their behavior, not their rhetoric. Certainly the church has a strong role to play in character formation. We need to do everything we can to communicate Biblical ideals. Sometimes a preacher, a youth minister and other church leaders can be quite effective in mentoring young people whose parents are poor role models. Even so parents generally have more influence than any one else. We like to pin the blame on the media, peer pressure and public institutions when our kids get in trouble. It makes us very uncomfortable to deal with our own parenting shortcomings as a likely cause of a child's irreverent behavior.

            Children are perceptive. They are quick to detect phoniness. That's why it's important for us to make sure that our life styles and beliefs match up as closely as possible.

            The educational system under the law of Moses was constructed on the premise that standards of behavior are most effectively communicated through family tradition. "Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise" (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). "Like father like son" is not an empty phrase. What kind of family traditions are being developed in your home?"