Forgiveness

The first step in forgiveness is the willingness to forgive. ''Attack is an easier response than forgiveness, and that is why we are so tempted to give into it.  Throughout our lives we have seen more anger than examples of true forgiveness.  Forgiveness does not mean that we suppress anger; forgiveness means that we have asked for a miracle:  the ability to see through mistakes that someone has made to the truth that lies in all of our hearts. . . . Forgiveness is not always easy.  At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.  Attack thoughts towards others are attack thoughts towards ourselves.  The first step in forgiveness is the willingness to forgive.'' Marianne Williamson

I believe that the most important thing to consider when thinking about forgiveness is the effect that it has on ourselves.  Forgiveness isn't always about the person being forgiven; often, that person will have asked forgiveness and will be very grateful when we do forgive, but probably more often we need to forgive for our own sake or good.  I've carried around anger and resentment for a while. It can become a habit.  But the thing that always took it away was the realization--usually later rather than sooner--that my anger wasn't affecting the object of my anger at all, but it was affecting me a great deal, in a very negative way.  I wasn't sleeping as I could have been, I wasn't able to focus on the task at hand as well as I could have, I wasn't able to relate to other people effectively. I was allowing the one who hurt me to have control of my actions. I have chosen recognize God as the one in control of this world and my life. I don't have time for resentment.

I have to admit, I still get angry and I don't always forgive as I should, but I try--I don't want that negative baggage to carry around with me. I feel God working in my life and the improvements He is making. I want my view of the world to be a view filled with wonder and awe, and carrying a grudge taints that view; I'm the one who suffers from my own inability to forgive--just as I'm the only one who can choose to allow God to save me from that suffering by putting things behind me where they belong.