THE PLACE OF FAMILY TRADITION

THE PLACE OF FAMILY TRADITION

by Norman Bales

There's a picture of my father on a shelf just behind my office chair. In the picture he's wearing a western hat cocked slightly to the right. Last week I wore a baseball cap while doing some yard work. I happened to glance at myself in the mirror and noticed that I was wearing my cap cocked slightly to the right. When I thought about it, I realized that family tradition determined the peculiar angle of my cap. As a matter of fact I imitate my father in many of the things I do. I'm far better educated than he was, but in my unguarded moments I make the same grammatical errors in my speech (I say "ain't," use double negatives and I often feel inclined to substitute "them" for "those" even though I know "them" is not a possessive pronoun). I sometimes mispronounce words the same way he did. A wheel barrow becomes a "wheel bar;" Ann "arns" my clothes and barbed wire becomes "bob war." I also tend to emulate many of his social patterns, much to the irritation of my wife. Family tradition is strong.

            Family tradition probably has more influence on the adoption of ethical standards among young people than any other one factor. Recent studies among adolescents indicate they often adopt the lifestyles and behavior patterns of their parents. (See The Gospel According to Generation X by Dodd, Lewis and Tippens). If a child's parents say one thing and do another, their offspring will generally pick up on their behavior, not their rhetoric. Certainly the church has a strong role to play in character formation. We need to do everything we can to communicate Biblical ideals. Sometimes a preacher, a youth minister and other church leaders can be quite effective in mentoring young people whose parents are poor role models. Even so parents generally have more influence than any one else. We like to pin the blame on the media, peer pressure and public institutions when our kids get in trouble. It makes us very uncomfortable to deal with our own parenting shortcomings as a likely cause of a child's irreverent behavior.

            Children are perceptive. They are quick to detect phoniness. That's why it's important for us to make sure that our life styles and beliefs match up as closely as possible.

            The educational system under the law of Moses was constructed on the premise that standards of behavior are most effectively communicated through family tradition. "Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise" (Deuteronomy 6:6-7). "Like father like son" is not an empty phrase. What kind of family traditions are being developed in your home?"

The Most Touching Speech Made by Bride's Father to the Groom

Now, before you think this is something you will try, read the article below.
http://www.bobrussell.org/2013/03/03/great-video-but-dads-dont-try-this-at-your-daughters-wedding/

What are They Learning?

A Different Christmas Poem

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.


The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.


The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.


Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.


'What are you doing?' I asked without fear,
'Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!'
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..


To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said 'Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night.'
'It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.


No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,'
Then he sighed, 'That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers.'
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.


I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.


I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall.'


' So go back inside,' he said, 'harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right.'
'But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
'Give you money,' I asked, 'or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son.'


Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
'Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.'

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To My Child

Things I Can and Cannot Do

I can share your life,
But I cannot live it for you.

I can teach you things,
But I cannot make you learn.

I can give you directions,
But I cannot always lead you.

I can allow you freedom,
But I cannot account for it.

I can take you to worship,
But I cannot make you believe.

I can teach you right from wrong,
But I cannot decide for you.

I can give you love,
But I cannot force it upon you.

I can teach you to share,
But I cannot make you unselfish.

I can teach you to respect,
But I cannot force you to show honor.

I can tell you the facts of life,
But I cannot build your reputation.

I can tell you about lofty goals,
But I cannot achieve them for you.

I can teach you to obey,
But I cannot answer for your actions.

I can warn about your sins,
But I cannot make your morals.

I can love you as my child,
But I cannot place you in Gods family. 

I can teach you about Jesus,
But I cannot make Him your Savior.

I can teach you about prayer,
But I cannot make you pray.

I can tell you how to live,
But I cannot give you eternal life.

The Wooden Bowl

The Wooden Bowl 

The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now. 

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson.

The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult.. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.

When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.

'We must do something about father,' said the son.

'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.

There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.

Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.

Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence. 

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.

He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded,

'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up. ' 

The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.

For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason,

neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things:

a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life.'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back sometimes. 

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you.

But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that you should share this with everyone you care about. 

Jesus the Teacher:Marriage &the Life to Come

Jesus the Teacher:Marriage & the Life to Come